Thursday, March 11, 2010

great gain.

There was a time in my life when I looked around and was miserable because I didn't have some of the wonderful things "in place" that I wished for and/or needed. A mom wants to give good things to her children and if you look around at what others have you may be disappointed. .

About 17 years ago, we had just sold our dairy. It was the first big hurdle for our family to go through. We were devastated to have to do so, yet, lots of family farms were going out of business. This brought about a period of lack in our lives. I couldn't buy pretty dresses for my little girl and many other little girls at church had pretty dresses, so I sewed. I couldn't buy matching comforters for my boys' bedroom, but they did have blankets. I raised 8 children with one bathroom while I listened to other moms talk about how horrid it was to clean 2 bathrooms. I am not into self-pity, in fact, I abhor it. But it did hurt to feel like I wasn't good enough, I didn't deserve it, or even worse, God didn't want to give me nice things.

Yet, if you are a Christian, you know that God loves you and is with you continually. You may not feel it, but you know it to be true. And if you truly believe that, you will settle in during the difficult parts of life and let God be God. You do not have to trust if you can see it, otherwise, it wouldn't be trust. In time, trusting brings contentment. Contentment is not something that is changed by circumstances. It's a steady, restful mind in the midst of chaos. And nothing you feel or go through is too small in God's eyes. If it hurts you, He gets it.

During this time in my life, I decided to begin my very first unit study in our homeschool. I will never forget the morning I read to my 3 boys, ages 7 - 11, an excerpt about the Civil War, with tears streaming down my face. The light went on. And whenever I find myself with a difficult outlook on life, I think about history and the true lack people endured.

There's a difference between wanting a new dining room set (after all, I do want to practice hospitality and that's good, right?) and having $40 to buy groceries for a family of 8. But you can be hospitable with a home-made table and metal folding chairs. And you don't starve with bread, milk, and eggs.

Does this mean you can't ask God for stuff? No. Ask, ask, and ask some more. In fact, some of my most wonderful moments has been when God completely surprised me with something. He's like that.

Whatever you are going through, God knows all about it. There are seasons in life that come and go.

My daughter soon had lots of pretty dresses. And my boys soon had nice comforters. I still have one bathroom. But we made it!

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