KID Find!

A personal favorite!

 

the honeymoon is over!

Well, not really.

Having kids is like that first 1st year of marriage. Reality sets in. Same thing with having children. 'Cept I don't remember anyone talking about this in the context of children. So I will.

We tend to have romantic, fairy-tale, or Little House on the Prairie mindsets. And the American culture today with all the chick flicks and reality tv shows only serve to compound what I see as a problem. It's not real life.

When we're growing up we don't know this. In time, we do. Yet, it's already taken hold and flavors how we think, how we live, and what our goals are. Certainly a way of life can be admired and inspiring-- but somewhere along the way we have to find out what is right for our family. We don't all live in the same scene. Unless you personally know someone in an elite position, we would all be living in the same boat like the common people did back in the day.  There's strength in sameness. Either that, or misery likes company. : )

That said, it's way too easy to compare and that only distracts us.

There are wonderful moments in between the work. I don't have to tell you that. I remember dragging myself around the house with the stresses of unpaid bills and relationship challenges and then the 5 month old breaks into laughter because the 4 year old is making faces at him. Then suddenly, those stresses weighing heavily on me shatter into a million pieces.

Children are wonderful blessings but there is work involved. You may be exhausted with your little brood but the demands will never end. It changes but will go into their adulthood as they face the many challenges that you've already lived.

So, don't be surprised when what you thought .. changes. Nothing is wrong. It's life. Relax.

patience.

Sneaking a little blurb in here about patience in regard to writing.. and it's applicable to mothering, too.

Patience is the anchor that keeps me from wandering (or running) away from whatever circumstance I find myself in; whether in my newly developing writing career or being a mom. Life's lessons have taught me to be patient and that everything has a way of working out.

Writing happened quite by accident for me. As I look back over the last 6 years, I've seen the love of writing my thoughts about anything and everything in my blog turn into something much more that I had anticipated. Two years ago I found myself taking an online course Writing for Children. Next, I found myself at the Rochester, NY, annual Children's Book Fair. Then, winning two writing contests along with writing for an e-magazine.

When I completed my writing course and saw the list of links for resources I was completely overwhelmed. The first book that was recommended in that list was Writer Mama. Hmm. Good fit since that described me perfectly! I took that as a clue to stick with the author and follow her, along with a children's author. I haven't gone too far from these two authors since it's not humanly possible (at least for me right now) to have too many resources.

Impatience makes me expend energy that is often unproductive. I can tell when that happens because I am irritable. Feeling comfortable with who I am and how I am wired is one of the first steps in being patient. When you are comfortable with yourself you will be patient with yourself. It helps me to pace myself. It's a restful state of mind that provides more energy for writing and other things.

Recently, I have been submitting articles online and two articles kept getting returned to me for various grammar errors or wordiness. I was not happy by the 3rd reject and wanted to yell say, "What do you want from me?!" I caught my reaction and did not hop over to the forum to get my voice heard. I told myself, "Nope. You're going to receive this rejection, fix it, and resubmit!" And so I did.

A note for young moms: you'll always be a mother, but one day you may find new endeavors that you didn't even know you had in you come to fruition. Be patient!

you are the professional.

I cannot enforce this enough and I will continually beat this drum: you are the right mom for your kids.

Whether you are a young mom in her 20's or an older mom in her 50's (that would be me), we have been affected by the culture that has made us think we are somehow not equipped to be the authority for our children. I suppose Dr. Spock from the 1950's gets the flack for being at the forefront of bringing his professionalism to the table. Over the years I have seen unprecedented trends of taking more and more away from the individual and letting the "professionals" do it.

Listen up. No one knows your kids like you. God designed for you to be the final say, the authority. You know how something rises up inside of you when you have felt that line being crossed? There's a reason. It's almost sacred ground.

I'm not talking about yelling at the coach from the stands. I'm not talking about thinking your kids can do nothing wrong and being over-protective. I'm talking about the environment we live in today that has pushed its way into our families. We have to be aware.

There is a place for assistance. Yet, sometimes we may find ourselves second guessing our choices and decisions. Stop. You and your husband have the final say and it does not matter what others think. Establish that now and the "mom stuff" will be much easier.

get out of the rut.

When I began homeschooling, I had to make sure every base was covered. I was efficient with everything else I did and homeschool was no exception.

All subjects were covered thoroughly. If one of my children looked ahead to a story in their reader and wanted to read it I cringed. It was out of order! And no, I did not let them. If an interest was sparked in a science lesson it killed me to think that we would spend too much time there because we needed to move on and make sure the book was completed. Things had to be done a certain way because I was afraid I would miss teaching them something very important! Not only that, but the loose ends were not giving me a sense of accomplishment. I like finished projects.

Well, 24 years later I am very different. That's because I have a bird's eye view with a few graduated kids under my belt. I now know that yes, there is something to be said for being thorough, but kids are very resilient and learn in so many ways.

Take history for example. There's only so much American History. And throughout the elementary school years a child will keep learning the same thing with more information added in the older grades. Same thing with science. So it isn't going to hurt to take a month and take out wonderfully illustrated library books, go on field trips, watch a documentary series, or create art projects that will reinforce a topic. For instance, if you are reading a chapter in 4th grade about the Solar System and your child shows interest in the planets or the stars, then by all means do not go onto the next chapter! Have fun exploring for a few weeks.

In our culture, it is difficult for us to vary from the way things are normally done. Education is pretty much out of textbooks and is quite appealing to children who love to read and take tests. But even these children will benefit from hands on learning. Even if your child is in public school, you have an important place in the education of your child. It's not all up to the school or the "professionals" as if you do not have the credentials. No one loves your child the way you do and you will be surprised how much you have to offer.

Don't fall into a rut. Life is full of wonder and excitement. Schoolwork doesn't have to be mundane. Kids are not meant to conform to one way of learning. Relax and let much of it happen quite naturally. Just like you didn't have to teach your little one how to put one step in front of the other to walk, or how to move his mouth to chew his food, there's a lot of learning that naturally happens even in academics. Your enthusiasm and a little guidance will get them started in the right direction. Don't miss out!

KID Find

Several years ago I came upon this Children's Bible at TJ Maxx. It was the illustrations that caught my attention. Your chid will get lost in how well the illustrator captured facial expressions. And the best part is the Israelites look Jewish. So does Jesus. 

A keeper.

clap!

"Apparently hand-clapping rhymes and songs are actually linked to cognitive skills. Research by Dr. Idit Sulkin, of the Ben-Gurion University Music Science Lab, found that young children who naturally play hand-clapping games are better spellers, have neater handwriting, and better overall writing skills."

Fascinating.

This explains why I am good at spelling, handwriting, and better overall writing skills.

"A sailor went to sea, sea, sea,
  to see what he could see, see see..."

productivity.

Taking a break today from a  Mom Stuff post, although it is applicable to moms!

Today was my first day of real productivity in the writing world. Some time ago I realized that I like order but I am not naturally organized. Order is just coming into a situation and taking chaos and bringing.. well, order. I can do that easily. Organization requires a deeper level of thinking. I have had to learn to be organized to some extent but have finally accepted who I am and how I process. That doesn't mean there can't be some tweaking...just not a complete overhaul or nothing will get done since that will make me come to a screeching halt. We don't work well in ways we are not wired to work.

For instance, I know people who use daytimers and make lists. I cringe at the thought of it. I tried it and it doesn't work for me at all. I am a calendar gal. Everything is jotted down in that little square.

Also, I've always been good at keeping many things organized in my head. It's worked for managing 8 kids and the maple syrup business and more so why would I change it?  Simply put, we are a curious lot and we are good at looking over the fence to see how someone else is doing something. In time we will find that we are expending precious time and energy trying to be someone we are not. We aren't being true to ourselves in living the way we were created. Funny how we can be such a multi-faceted society yet we are attracted to sameness!

At any rate, I had to get the creativity and organization out of my head and in motion because I was not always seeing results in my new endeavor: writing. In order to do that I had to begin setting goals and be productive. At the same time, I had to be true to myself. And today I met my first goal with intended regularity: 2 hours on Friday mornings set aside for my "job". Writing. It's a start. And I feel really good.

That's not easy to do when you've been a mom for almost 30 years (and a homeschooing mom). But I have reached a time in my life when I can and should write. It took some "switching gears" since I've been in a kind of auto pilot for a long time.

So, my productivity is: one article completed and submitted today. And my goal is to continue writing 2 articles a month along with working on the books that have been in my head for over a year for 2 hours on Friday mornings. The next goal is to carve out the time for the an additional day or night for writing.

It won't get on paper until I do it. I know that now. And today really is the first day of the next part of my life. No longer will I feel that pit in my stomach with a new children's book published thinking how I have got to get going on my books. Because now I am working on my goals and being productive.

round and round we go.

I recently wrote, "It's okay to do the same thing over and over again everyday." Creepy thought isn't it?


There is nothing wrong with routine. We are not spinning our wheels when life isn't that exciting. It's just that we live in a world that keeps us on an emotional high most of the time and we cannot function well if it slows down. Even if you are not so anxious to live life to the fullest, you will find yourself being swept up in the current.


Getting up every morning and doing the same mom stuff day in and day out is routine. There are highlights for sure. Yet you may find somewhere in the back of your mind that you are not really doing anything. You can read all the books and attend all the meetings but you have to find your own nitch and yes, encouragement.


Godliness with contentment is great gain.


Listen. I know that no matter how much you are trying to believe it, it's still unbelievable that if you did nothing else but raise your children and serve your family that it is enough. If you lived 60 years ago it would have sufficed. But today, we are inundated by everyone's 2 cents and second guessing ourselves. 


Life really isn't that complicated.


There is something to be said for seizing the day but the key is moderation. The key is not to feel like you are a failure or a slouch or disqualified or not as good as someone else. 

     “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

Thank-you, Dr. Suess.


Are you getting this? Isn't it glaring the requirements we place upon ourselves and others? Everyday we pull out the ruler and measure everything ... everything is viewed through a lens of performance and productivity. 


We all can't be leaders that are visible and blazing trails of productivity of major proportions. In fact, I think there are only a handful of those kinds of people and they are rare. Most of us are quieter and can lead right in our own homes, reproducing who we are and what we are all about to our children. And throughout the centuries, the beat goes on. The mom has the baby, the mom raises the baby, the mom points to the right path to live life.


And so it continues.


Routine, but not boring. Okay.. sometimes boring but interspersed are wonderful surprises because God is like that and He has made creation like that. That's why when we look at the moon for the thousandth time or we spot a cardinal against the white snow or the sound of the wind soothes our soul, we are able to continue on with contentment. Because while I am spoon feeding my 9 year old the same food that I fed 7 other children, I hear the gathering of geese, I see the colors changing outside the window, and I feel the chill of the breeze... the same routine things that have gone on all my life. And yet, they still bring warmth to my heart.


Don't be wasting time looking for something grand. Or you will miss out on the simple pleasures that are meant to be grand. 

KID Find

I won this book as my comment on the Writing For Children Center was added to other comments and my name was drawn along with 2 others. 


What caught my eye was the front cover. I think the illustrations of the book is equal in importance to the content. 

"This heartfelt tale begins with a ship sailing across the sea underneath the moon. From there, the fathers of all creatures great and small come home to their little ones. The dog father runs home to his little puppies; the father bird flies home to his little birds. Even the daddy longlegs creeps home to his little daddy longlegs! his simple, sweet story culminates with a sailor – the human father – coming home from the sea to his little boy." Shavounda White

 Margaret Wise Brown ever-so-simply tells a story of that special bond between father and child, and with it, sends a simple message even the smallest of children can understand…daddy will be home soon. With Stephen Savage’s bold colors and beautiful illustrations, this story will make bedtime or anytime a great time to bask in a father’s love.

I understand that this is not the best book for children who do not have daddy coming home to them. Yet, I think that perhaps there is still comfort in reading this to a fatherless child. I think there is a special place in God the Father's heart for the abandoned.

  Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will take care of me. Psalm 27:10

I'm bored!

I had an interesting conversation with a professor this week at the eMarketing conference. We were talking about shrinking attention spans, the rise of snack-size media, and the tyranny of output. “Never are we bored these days,” the professor said, referring to the over-supply of distraction. “That’s a problem,” he maintained, ”because boredom is the mother of creativity. There is no creativity without boredom.”

Credit goes to iPlot.

inspiration.

 My 9 year old and I have been reading about the early explorers. For some reason, this was a personally interesting period for me when I was in fourth grade. I always remembered the names and what they discovered- John Cabot, Sir Francis Drake, Amerigo Vespucci, Ponce de Leon. I've decided that the retainment is simple: not only are saying the names fun, but by nature, I am an explorer. The kids watched me one night last week, binoculars in hand, trampling through the heavy, wet grass in the field trying to get a good view of Jupiter.

Today we wandered from the textbook and read a book that I have had here for many years, Discovery of the Americas by Betsy and Giulio Maestro. (you know, the whole if mom feels like having fish for dinner we have fish for dinner thing) Significant attention is given to Ferdinand Magellan, who is attributed the honor of sailing around the world. Thing is, he never made it. He was ambushed in the Phillipines. So close to the finish line! Yet, 1 ship (after 5 at the start) and 18 men (after 250 at the start and their leader gone), they continued on. A lesser known man (to us), Juan Sebastian del Cano, sailed and with "the remaining crew were determined to complete the journey for their dead leader."

This whole ordeal took 3 years. It was hellish. Storms (hurricane season, unknown to them at the time), disease, death, hunger, thirst.. all overtook these men. Sure, there was wealth in their minds and the honor of bringing back to Spain their great feat and discoveries (such as present-day the Strait of Magellan). Yet, there was also a mindset to explore and discover. And Magellan, like Columbus and others, never knew the proportion of their sacrifice. In Magellan's case, his voyage caused the world to understand for the first time, how big the world was.

Two things strike me here. One being, the loyalty of del Cano and the remaining crew to carry the torch for Magellan. Lots to ponder about there.

Secondly, the sacrifices of men and women throughout history is incredibly inspiring. Chartering unknown territory, pioneering new ideas, continuing to blaze the trails our predecessors walked, takes some courage, vision, and an understanding of the bigger picture. Some, for personal gain. Yet most, for the benefit of others.

There are those named individuals who are known by all who get credit for their accomplishments and that is well deserved. The mother who lives on a rural road or a busy suburban street, who is sacrificing in ways unknown to the onlooker, for the benefit of her children and even more, the benefit of a society, is known by God. And she may never see what she has done. Her children may never "rise up and call her blessed". She may die before that happens and never see the promises that she clung to. Mothers are the unnamed who are routinely sowing their precious seed and believing there will be fruit. There will be. She may not ever see it's fulfillment. Nor does she know that her sacrifices join with many others that perhaps will preserve what little there is left of a society who lives self-governing lives, loving God and neighbor, and living peaceably as much as possible.

The scripture says, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. We have not sailed across the Atlantic amidst the fury of wind and waves. We have not suffered disease, sickness, nakedness, or famine without recourse. And it is less common today to lose a husband at sea or bury our dead children in makeshift graves. We have not suffered greatly for the benefit of another or a whole society.

We are tired when we have piles of laundry. We complain when we haven't been out of the house in a week. We wish for a better stove or more room in our house or new furniture. All saying, don't I deserve?

Some of us do lead lives untouched by severe difficulty. If you are one that falls in that group, by all means you should enjoy! Yet, keep in mind that there are others who are living below you in many ways. They, too, have blessings bestowed upon them but may carry within them their sacrifice or losses. In these instances, a cup of water is wonderfully appreciated.

Either way, mothers everywhere are heroes. Keep seeing the bigger picture and give yourself wholly to it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

You may see it. You may not. Either way, you have to be okay with it.

Lori Calabrese Review of the Golden Pathway by Donna McDine

Lori Calabrese Writes!: Would you risk an escape to freedom? "Many children learn about Harriet Tubman and The Underground Railroad, but how many stop to really think about the severity of a time cloude..."

living.

My 9 year old was doing Bible Lifepac 402 this morning and I read with him about worry in Matthew 6. It's where Jesus was explaining how He feeds the birds and clothes the flowers and how much more He cares for us. And I thought, "Oh yeah.." as if I had remembered hearing that one time. Of course, like any mom would do, I expounded upon this truth helping my son to understand God's continual care and concern for us. And as I was speaking to him...I was speaking to me.

You know, it never will end don't you? You will never "arrive". In fact, I have been a mother for 29 years and I am less confident in me and more in God's ability. 

We live in a very productive oriented and driven society. If you don't have something in the works then you are not interesting or even successful. If you are not on some committee, volunteering in your church, bringing in a paycheck, taking a class.. you will get some raised eyebrows. 

I've grown up. I've discovered that if I try to make my square pegs fit in a round hole it's gonna hurt someone. So I stopped. Now, I take the solid you-can-go-to-the-bank with it truths and what-my-family-is- all about and lay the foundation of my home with that. From there, the building may not look like someone (or a lot of someones) house. I can no longer parrot status quo because it's regurgitating someone else's life experiences. The Apostle Paul pretty much addressed that tendency a few times. Wc can't and shouldn't compare too many notes with the unnecessary stuff that serves little purpose than to stress us (like moms and kids) out. 

Since God has created variety (one resource states that 800,000 insects have been discovered and it is believed that over 1 million have yet to be discovered!) we can surmise there will be variety in our families. If we fall prey to comparing and then set out to copy model someone else we will be miserable. 

So, don't worry. Placing undue emphasis on producing will drive you and your family into the ground. It's okay to do the same thing over and over again everyday. 

Now for the post:

I address the culture alot because a mom's job is to watch for the influences which affect their children. If Jesus were teaching this perhaps He would say something like, "doesn't nature itself speak of this?" The animal kingdom (except for those unfeeling reptiles!) reveals how the mother watches and protects at all cost (personal sacrifice). She also teaches and knows when to push the fledglings out of the nest (grow up). So, how much more do human mothers have the ability to be a mother? It's okay to watch out for your kids.

With the crazy amount of choices in television viewing, internet, social networking, video games, music, trends, and ideologies there's alot out there vying for our children's attention, time, affections, and loyalty. Constant vigil is utmost in the culture we live in today. And if the culture threatens to destroy the foundation we're building upon we have to refuse it. And you will decide what will or will not be and how much. That is your job. Because the culture is like the air. It's all around us. We cannot help but be in the middle of it. And if left unattended, the culture can and will speak loudly, forming and shaping your child's mind and views. 

Personally, I do not wish to create a 1950's atmosphere. Nor do I want to be the Little House on the Prairie, howbeit those time periods have endearing attributes. I am not opposed to culture, just the parts that are in direct opposition to timeless truths to live by and distract from creating the best atmosphere for maturing.

Almost daily, it's like I pull out a sword to combat the shallow, tantalizing, unstable parts of culture that come along. A statement made on television- slice! and truth is spoken. A self centered behavior- slice! and truth is spoken. The desire for entertainment to reduce boredom- slice! and truth is spoken. Honestly this is more tiring than making meals, changing diapers, laundry and homeschooling. Because the meal is eaten and the bottom is dry and the clothes are put away and the lessons are done. But resisting the culture may fall on a hardened heart or a deaf ear and the fruit may not be seen for years. Years! But if you believe in your truths you will continue despite. That's what faith is. And you find that you cannot possibly be solely responsible for this great feat. You learn that God has a part, too. Way bigger than ours.

Example: I never like to hear "I'm bored". My kids either will find something to do or else I will give them work to do or they will hear about the colonial days. This is resisting the culture that dazzles them with instant gratification.

When our children are young it is a more controlled atmosphere. But get ready. Your little brood is going to grow up. And while many will not give into the term "terrible twos" or "teenager", you can fool yourself but reality is there are changes going on during those years. And when they come you will find a huge transition in your life. Like labor, you will get through it! Your physical demands will turn to mental and emotional as the "I'm sitting down on the outside but standing up on the inside" may just show itself very vividly, requiring lots of seemingly endless listening and discussions.  

Example: (8 years ago) "Mom, I bought a car on Ebay". WHAT?!?

But I wouldn't have done that. Either would his father. What gives?

What gives is that they have to grow up. And it won't necessarily look like you planned. Or what you taught. Or what you modeled. 

And in time, you worry less because it's not all up to you.

And in time, you have more peace because it's not all up to you.

And in time, you become more joyful because you have peace in knowing it's not all up to you.

And in time, you are more settled with who you are and who your children are.

And I hope you get this way before I did.

who knew?

Sanctimommy.

live.

I had the privilege of listening to  Robert Andrews, who wrote The Family: God's Weapon for Victory speak at my church on Sunday morning.

He said something in his sermon that, once again, defies the culture. He explained that he never once heard his father say, "I love you".

But what came next may surprise you.

He continued to say, but I knew my father loved me.


How? In other ways. Such as the way he saw his dad's face light up when he saw his son.

You know, maybe that's all that some kids will get from a parent. Is it enough?

Since the early 70's or thereabouts, there came an explosion in our culture of a focus on self. Suddenly, we had rights and you better not infringe upon them! Self awareness led to self improvement and self esteem. Books, seminars, talk shows, magazines, television shows all got on board while everyone's personal lives were laid bare as people grappled with their insecurities. And often, the blame was placed on the mother or father.

Interestingly, the same proponents of empowering "self" seem to have not included the ability perhaps to continue this empowerment in the area of not allowing the past to have power over them. All this power is really cowardice. Empowerment really creates a big ego that is self centered and even selfish.

Mr. Andrews is in his early 70's and as many of his generation, is not hindered by the "new" ways of doing things. They see through it and thank God they do. Many of us have not lived to see what men and women of the 70+ generation has seen and their wisdom is valuable. They lived without all the bells and whistles and they survived.

So, here is a man who is not living as a victim because his father never uttered the words, "I love you". Here is a man who chose not to hold it against his father, nor did he choose to live with what the "self" culture almost always ends up with: self pity. I believe Mr. Andrews chose to honor and respect his father and mother like many of his generation understood before the radical anti-everything 60's came along and changed the culture and thus changed our thinking. With it has brought unprecedented rebellion and defiance against parents and authority. The lack of respect is glaring. It's not just "oh you're old fashioned", but down right cynicism, mocking, and devaluation.

We cannot allow the culture to form our children's minds. It is unstable and changeable as the trends wash upon our minds like the shoreline ebbs and flows. It is hard work to resist the current. While I am not trying to relive the 50's. I do want my kids to be relevant, Yet. I have to continue to find that fine line of sowing what is truth, everlasting, and ultimately, eternal. I can only hope and pray that those seeds find good soil in their hearts and take root.

to be continued...

walk this way.

Every family has particular values they live by. Whether recognized as such, values are based on a sense of right and wrong. Because definitions of right and wrong can vary, I have found the Bible to be utmost in my life...a book that hasn't been written in the last 150 years as some newer religions and their books claim.

There are absolutes contrary to what our culture says. And those absolutes may not necessarily give us the results in our lifetime. Sometimes, it will play out years after we are gone, in our children and grandchildren's lives and in our nation. That said, we cannot deter from values simply because "it didn't work for me". We, as so many of our predecessors have done, must think beyond ourselves and today.

While values are outlined clearly in the scripture (and by the way, the sense of right and wrong is written on our hearts - just look at the guilt on a 2 year old's face when he smacks his brother!), we will find variety in our families.

Yesterday, while shopping, I heard an elderly husband and wife talking: "I'm following this young man to the garden center", he told his wife with a tell-tale North Jersey accent. The wife "snapped" back but not really. I grew up in a suburb of NYC and I smiled since it brought me back. She was just talking the way that culture talks. To someone listening it may sound like they are being rude to each other but I knew it wasn't the case.

Variety is okay. Don't try to be someone you are not.

Secondly, if you don't teach values to your children I guarantee someone else will. We cannot assume that the "professionals" will do it. By that I mean teachers, counselors, coaches, other parents... you get the gist. God has given your children to you for a reason. You are the right mom.

I am almost 54 and have a 17, 15, and 9 year old at home. I thank God He has given me the ability to be very conscientious about my role as a mother. Because my kids are homeschooled, they are with me 24/7. Daily, I am still guiding and directing words and actions. This is way more difficult than teaching academics. It involves continual application in their chores, their relationships and their time.

I can tell you that by 7pm I am exhausted! But if not me, than who?

Keep in mind that 100 years ago and more that the "professionals" were not around. As a culture we have given up so much of our role and authority to others. The more we are influenced by our culture the more you will believe this. I am not suggesting we live as hermits. I am suggesting that as we entrust our children to others that we are careful to be involved with our oversight. In the background perhaps, but watching over our children.

As we grow in understanding we will grow in wisdom. Wisdom is the kind of thing that brings balance. It executes understanding with grace and yet, "nails" it. It's the thing that tells us to be a mother bear but how to be a wise mother bear. Our role doesn't give us the right to overprotect our kids to the point that they never grow up (think yelling at the ref from the stand or the school teacher).

Consider what your family values are and make them utmost in your responsibilities. You can provide a nice house, nice clothes, and healthy meals for your children. Yet, if values are nearly absent in our daily lives, it will hurt our kids more than if they had values without all the nice things.

KID Find

I read this book to my 9 year old. It's beautifully written and illustrated. Written in 1940, the author, Robert Lawson, tells the story of his forefathers.

love your children.

There is a scripture in the Bible in the book of Titus, chapter 2, that tells the older women to teach the younger women to love their children.

At first glance, this seems like an oxymoron. There is a bond between mother and child unlike any relationship in the world. No matter if you live in Mongolia or Manhattan, a mother's love is incredible.

So why would God address this?

It's pretty simple if you know the Bible. It's because God's love is not the same as our love. We have conditions. He does not.

Throughout the years of mothering there will be endless opportunities for sacrifice. The demands are unknown until you hold your newborn. Then, let the games begin! Sleepless nights, sore nipples and/or nightly feedings..the list goes on. Yet, the joy and fulfillment our children bring far outweigh the work.

We all have various tolerance levels. For instance, I like to teach so homeschool was a good fit for me. However, my strength and ability did hit the proverbial brick wall and that is when we find there is more to give that we either want or have within us. This is where loving your children comes in. As outlined in the scripture, love is not just a feeling. It is an action that is based on a choice to do whatever it takes. And since experience is on the side of older women, this is why God instructs us to teach the younger women.

There have and will continue to be plenty of opportunities for sacrifice. It's one thing to have to get up for 2 and 4am feedings. It's another thing to be drained mentally and emotionally for difficult situations involving your children that are not yet resolved or watching them make choices and decisions that you do not agree with.

When a mother realizes that her life is in service to her family, she is willing to take on the instruction to love her children (and husband, as Titus 2 says). In today's world with it's empowered women who have sat under the tutelage of feminism, mothers have to decide which path they will take.

I don't know about you, but I have to give it all I've got and then some. We aren't always going to see the results right away nor will we see it in our lifetime. We instruct our children for them, but we also instruct them for the whole of society, a nation, and the world.

There is a sense of deep fulfillment, one that I find cannot be tampered with when we live our lives based on principles and values that are timeless and based on truth. While I have seen me give it all only to find the results were sorrowful, I still have within me the fulfillment of having done all.

Moms, loving your child is hugging and laughing and cuddling. But it also is loving them no matter what.

And that, is God's love.

let the games begin!

School is in session here and we've gradually made the transition to full steam ahead this week. That means no mercy in a few areas!

Academics are not the real job of homeschooling. Building character is. Any wise crack can sit down and do a math lesson and get an A+.  My goal is to help shape words, actions, and behavior based on timeless tried and true methods that are wrapped up in the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated.

And let me say that your's truly can't just talk the talk but I have to walk the walk. Modeling it is everything.

Moms who's children attend public school have work to do, too. Sometimes I imagine it's more than mine. They have to battle so much more with their children being influenced 7 hours a day with people you don't know. It seems that the maintenance of preserving your values is a continual effort.

Either way, being a mom is hard work. For me, I have found my strength in my faith since the Bible has a lot to say about being a parent. It gives instruction that helps immensely and gives me the reason to get up every morning.

Stay the course!