I'm still here! Enjoying this great, hot summer we're having in the Northeast. Spending time with my kids and letting any projects, cleaning, even cooking...be on the back burner (no pun intended!)
I was thinking this morning.. when that first baby comes life changes drastically. Your life will never be the same. It's demanding but the first smile, the little white tooth poking through, and first steps has a way of making you forget that you haven't slept a full night in awhile. Life is pretty scheduled and soon predictable as you focus solely on that firstborn.
But then the second baby comes along. And you are not going to be able to do with this baby what you were able to do with the firstborn. Life starts to get hectic.
My firstborn was a busy 2 year old when his brother came along. I remember being very frustrated when every time I sat down to nurse (or do anything for that matter), I had to continually stop what I was doing to see what he was getting into and guide and correct him. I no sooner put the framed picture back on the table, telling him "no", and he was off to something else.
It made me angry.
That's because none of us like interruptions. We like smooth sailing with the least resistance possible. And if you are like me... you do better when things are neat and in your control, you will have a harder time of it when baby #2 comes along.
Something has to give.. and it's gotta be you.
Not easy to hear, right? But I find that as we walk through tough stuff and learn to accept what is and decide to be content in it, it makes all the difference. In other words, the "wild stallion will" that was in me broke. It had to.
This was going to be the beginning of many lessons of growing in maturity. The self-centeredness has got to go. You cannot be available 24/7 and live in resentment. You will be miserable and always looking for a way out.
The old "when life gives you lemons make lemonade" is true. It's not easy but it works. It's all about how you look at it.
If you find yourself in that place right now, I promise you it's not going to get better until your outlook changes. Don't wait for things to get better and then you will be happier. It doesn't work that way. You decide right now, today, that you are going to accept what is: hard work. Yet, there is nothing more worth working hard at than passing your values, your legacy, on to your children. Let God smile down on you with His strength to help in time of need. I guarantee that you will see a change once you commit to the decision that you are in this for the long haul.
I am on the homestretch with a 9 year old. When I am "done" I will have been a full-time mom for 38 years and homeschooling for 30 years. Already, opportunities are opening for me that I had no idea would occur. And for me, this is a reward and I'm loving it.
I have to add that it was much easier after babies #3, #4, .... and so on. I believe it was because I accepted the reality of the demands of motherhood and the self-centeredness left.
Stay strong. You can do this!