Friday, July 09, 2010

growing pains.



There's going to come a day when your little brood is going to want to fly. You need to be ready for it.

Some of my fondest memories are when the "little ducks" lined up behind me as we walked to the library. Or snowy days in a warm, cozy home watching Bambi while cookies are baking in the oven. What mom doesn't cherish those days of all is well?

Get ready. Because you may find that one day it all changes. Think of it like this: driving along on a Sunday afternoon at a steady, sightseeing pace and suddenly the emergency break is yanked on. Like that.

I can only speak from my experience. That's what this blog is all about. Me sharing with you what I have lived and how I've looked at life; the nitty gritty, raw, uncensored parts that are fashioned in such a way to not degrade or embarrass, but to be real.

Can I say this? If you are enjoying a controlled, Little House on the Prairie or Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle with your children it is a wonderful time. I don't criticize this. Yet, life has a way of changing without asking our permission.

In some churches of the Christian faith, in lieu of infant baptism a baby may be dedicated to God. It is done with the intent that God, who watches over things, may use this life for His will. It is a serious acknowledgement of gratitude for the gift of a child and the desire for God's guidance in raising him or her faithfully, using the Bible as a guide. 

That said, the key word is dedicate:

1. To set apart for a deity or for religious purposes; consecrate.
2. To set apart for a special use.
3. To commit to a particular course of thought or action.

Pretty cut and dry. And so moms set out to cross every "t" and dot every "i" in the task of raising their children. We may not do it all the same way, but we do it with pretty much the same goals in mind.

Yet, there will come a time when you will wonder what happened to Johnny? He used to be so .. this or that.

Johnny is growing up. Johnny is forming his own opinions about life that you may not have taught or modeled. Johnny may go in a direction that you hadn't planned. And you have to be ready.

I think there is a fine line between maturing and rebelling. We can't automatically assume that Johnny's behavior is a rebellion that needs to be controlled. It isn't easy finding that fine line, but find it you will. And the transition is brutal.

You're going to feel wobbly as you take this new path with your kids. They are growing up. You have to let them.

I remember a few of my "firsts". Like the time I came home and my 18 year olds son announced he bought a car on Ebay (before it became popular to purchase cars this way).

WHAT?!

Or another time a son brought home "Mike's Hard Lemonade" that is 5% alcohol. Neither me or his father ever purchased beer or wine or anything of the sort mostly because a) we never cared about it; b) Christians avoided something that could potentially carry with it problems

Those are glaring examples but there were more subtle ones, too. Like a mild swear word or opinions about politics that were very different than mine or oh my gosh staying up past midnight.

I had to learn to listen and loosen my grip. I had to learn to not only accept but expect that my kids are not me. They are individuals created by God and I have a part in raising them. Because my Christian faith is important to me and highly valued, I always pointed them to God. And you hope it sticks. And you pray it sticks. 

It may not. At least for a time. I mean in the end, because of my faith I believe they come full circle since their are promises to be found in the scripture. But getting from Point A to Point B may be rocky and even shocking.

I want moms to be successful. And part of that isn't found always in the good results of well-behaved children that give you the good feeling when hearing, "My, you've done a wonderful job!" It may be that you are successful in enduring the hardships and successful in loving your child through his growing and maturity. You can be assured that those bed rock values and principles are in there somewhere. 

And you may find that you were the one who grew up.

: )

2 comments:

sam said...

AMEN!

kathleen said...

Isn't it interesting S. that when it's all said and done..we're all in the same boat?

: )

Thanks for being encouraged!