We are products of our environments. There is no doubt that our home life shapes us but I believe more so, our culture does the shaping if we let it. The generation who has children who's lives have been shaped by the 60's, a time of major social changes, has seen unprecedented changes. For the young person, the music was a powerful influence. The Viet Nam war era lended itself in bringing about a generation that was rebellious at every turn and their "make love not war" mantra, along with resisting "the establishment", vyed for young minds. You put a bunch of 13 - 17 year olds together in school for 7 hours a day for half a year for 6 years, you are going to have a powerful group emerging with the energy to be a powerful force.
Add to that the feminist movement, you've got a nuclear weapon.
I do not like to hear an adult child lash out at their mother or father. By now, I expect the adult child has lived long enough, or had a few children of his or her own, that the maturing process very naturally takes place. Eyes are opened to what life is all about and the realization sets in that their parents were not so stupid after all. Usually this happens in the mid twenties or thereabouts when the adult chlld is on their own. It's normal for teenagers to be self centered, selfish, rebellious, etc. since they are growing up and the transition can be difficult. Yet, that should be outgrown as time goes on. If the demands are still there well into adulthood, then something isn't right.
Now, we can go in many different directions as we lead our lives.. what we will use as our compass. And just like there may be a handful of ways to tackle a building's foundation, there are many ways to lay the foundation of our lives. There are tried and true principles that are used in a building's foundation that are not varied much since it is extremely important that the foundation is sure and solid. Same with our lives. What kind of foundation do we lay?
The "culture" has been alive and well since the beginning of time; Sodom and Gomorrah, Rome, etc. And to the degree that we allow our culture to shape our lives, that is to the degree that we "may" have wandered from tried and true principles of a firm foundation. And like Jesus said, the man who builds his house on sand, when the storm comes, the house will fall.
We all weather storms. That's one thing that rich and poor, young and old, famous or unknown.. all have in common. None of the categories matter when you are in the storm. 'Cuz even the rich's money will someday run out, the young still grow weary, the famous cannot use their fame to carry them through. Only one thing matters: the foundation.
The feminist movement was and is huge. At it's worse, it is vicious. And to the degree that a woman has allowed herself to be influenced by it, that is the degree of viciousness. And a huge part of the viciousness is I see men cowering in the corner, fearful of "the woman scorned", giving into her every whim.
See, there are some things that are lesser on the scale of how it will hurt one personally or in a larger sense, a society. Feminism has caused an upheaval of great proportions affecting the backbone of society: the family. A mother working outside the home; away from the home for 40 hours a week.. is going to have a negative impact on the family and society. It has to. But the culture formed and shaped the woman as television became a huge part of our lives. Women who were watching the talk shows and buying the women's magazines and listening to how she deserves a break and I Am Woman Hear Me Roar and Harper Valley PTA traded their power for raising a family for a career.
This was also the self-esteem movement. Suddenly, people everywhere were finding out that they had low self-esteem and the "professionals" started blaming our parents. And this.. THIS.. is one thing that I cannot stand. It is a weak and feeble attempt for someone to pass the blame onto someone else instead of growing up, owning up, and being a man or woman. UNLESS A CHILD HAS BEEN LOCKED IN A ROOM, TORTURED, OR SEXUALLY MOLESTED OR RAPED BY THEIR MOTHER OR FATHER, THEN NO ADULT CHILD HAS ANY BUSINESS BLAMING A MOTHER OR FATHER FOR ANYTHING !!!! And if an adult child can forgive of these crimes against him or her, how much more can one forgive so much less?
Can you tell how strongly I feel about this??
It is the adult child's responsibility to grow up. And the self-help books, the therapists, the NONSENSE that has caused people to live a life of licking their wounds and throwing up any and every problem they have in their parents faces should GROW UP.
The 60's on upward has produced generations of whiney, bratty, selfish adults. I cannot imagine what these adults would be like if they were on the Mayflower crossing the Atlantic with their parents... or walking along side a covered wagon heading West after burying baby brother or Mom along the way... the list goes on.
How dare a parent be mocked, swore at, told to shut up, and more? Nine times out of ten it's not because the parent did something so horribly wrong.. and even then, there are those of us who have forgiven and not held it against them. It's because of the adult child's choices. Period. And God has given us all the ability to learn, understand, and apply wisdom to our lives. We have a choice to choose what kind of foundation we lay and which path we will take on our journey. We have a choice to be wise or foolish.
God says to honor your father and mother. This doesn't mean there isn't discussion about situations that have occurred that have brought pain to a parent or child. Yet, oftentimes, some things do not get resolved and one has to know how to move on. God sees all things and one day He will wipe away our tears the Bible says. But for now, you can talk to God about it all and He is the one who brings comfort and healing to our souls.
The first commandment with promise: that it will be well with you. That tells me that this is big stuff and what we have treated lightly has much more power than we know.